The Court Jester

Such simple pleasures on a long weekend.  After a particularly grueling work week, I thought I’d plant myself in front of the tube, laptop at my left hand, black berry on my right and indulge myself in techno-geekery and classic movies.

Couple of Danny Kaye movies later and I stumbled on this smile inducing sketch.  Anyone remember this?

The pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle, but the chalice from the palace is the brew that is true…  wait was that the flagon with the dragon?

I’d heard the line before years ago, I think it was one of my old high school buddies who was a cinephile at the time.  Even more recently, one of my big-brained instructor-partners goes into the routine after particularly troublesome staff meetings.

I didn’t realize the following ladies starred in The Court Jester with Danny Kaye?  Of course, had I seen the original film artwork (as shown up top), I wouldn’t have been so surprised.  I most remember Glynis from Mary Poppins.  And who doesn’t think of Murder, She Wrote when we see Angela Lansbury.

 

Fred, Fred, he’s our man…

Well, what do you think?  Former Tennessee Senator and Hollywood actor-type Fred Thompson is supposedly going to announce his candidacy on a web-cast during tonight’s Leno show.

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - Fred Thompson - veteran actor, former Republican senator - is launching his bid for the presidency Hollywood style.
Thompson will make his candidacy official in a 15-minute Webcast set to air at midnight, around the same time that he’ll be seen on the East Coast chatting with Jay Leno on a taped broadcast of NBC’s “Tonight Show.”

What is your opinion? Historically, many of these actors turned politicians have done pretty well. Reagan is now considered by many ‘publicans to be “the man”.  Arnold is actually doing pretty well in California.  Even Sonny Bono was positively thought of prior to his death.

Fred Thompson brings a different twist, though.  He actually had an 8 year senatorial run before going to Hollywood.  But, now he’s coming back.

There are others, though who haven’t quite successfully made the transition.  I found the following article from  interesting..

1. Alan Autry

Carlos Alan Autry was best known for his role as Captain Bubba Skinner in the TV series In the Heat of the Night. The former NFL football player entered politics in 2000, after being elected mayor of Fresno, California. Among his policies was active opposition to gay marriage.

2. Shirley Temple

The former child actress starred in over 40 films during the 1930s, becoming a Hollywood legend. Her achievements in film were matched in politics: after an unsuccessful Congressional campaign in 1967, she went on to hold several diplomatic posts, including ambassadorships to Ghana and Czechoslovakia.

3. Jesse Ventura

The former wrestler starred in the hit film Predator in 1987, and also featured in other Hollywood productions such as Running Man. In 1993, he was elected the 38th Governor of Minnesota - serving until 2003. Shortly after his victory car stickers and T-shirts appeared with the slogan: “My governor can beat up your governor”.

4. Sonny Bono

The record producer is best known for hit singles such as I Got You Babe and The Beat Goes On, although Cher received more attention. The pair starred in The Sonny and Cher Show TV show from 1971-77. After unsuccessfully running for the Republican nomination for Senate in 1992, he was elected to the House of Representatives in 1994 to represent California’s 44th district.

5. Jerry Springer

The Brit-born chat show host was the Democratic mayor of Cincinnati, Ohio in 1977 - fulfilling the role for one year. Unlike others on the list he used his political career as a spring board for showbiz success. Best known for the eponymous TV show he also appeared (invariably as himself) in a number of TV sitcoms including King of Queens.

6. Mary Carey

The porn actress stood as an independent candidate during the 2003 California recall election, but finished tenth in a field of 135 candidates. Among her manifesto pledges was a plan to tax breast implants. In June 2005, she announced her bid for Lieutenant Governor of California as an independent, but again failed to win office.

7. Ben Jones

Jones was Cooter Davenport on The Dukes of Hazzard, for the entire series run. In 1986, he ran unsuccessfully for a seat in the House of Representatives from Georgia. He ran again in 1988, this time winning a seat. He was re-elected in 1990, but was defeated again in 1992. In 2002, he ran unsuccessfully for a seat in the House representing Virginia, thus becoming one of very few recent American politicians to seek elective office in more than one state.

8. Clint Eastwood

The world famous actor - and Academy Award-winning director - made one successful foray into elected politics, becoming the Mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea, California for one term. Carmel is a wealthy small town and artist community on the Monterey Peninsula. He described his political philosophy as: “Everyone leaves everyone else alone”.

9. Nancy Kulp

Kulp was best known as Miss Jane Hathaway on the TV series The Beverly Hillbillies. In 1984, she ran for the House of Representatives as a Democrat from Pennsylvania, but was unsuccessful. To her dismay, Hillbillies co-star Buddy Ebsen supported her Republican opponent, Bud Shuster.

10. Ronald Reagan

The 40th President of the United States was an actor from the 1930s to the 1960s. Reagan took a screen test that led to a seven-year contract with the Warner Brothers studio. Initially, Reagan secured roles in “B” films and later in more significant “A” pictures.

Before Santa Fe Trail in 1940, he played the role of George “The Gipper” Gipp in the film Knute Rockne, All American. From this role he acquired the nickname the Gipper, which he retained the rest of his life.

Cheezy TV; The Great VP on TMC

Don’t have to work today cuz of a training holiday, so I’m just drinking some coffee and watching Turner Movie Classics.  I’m loving it; I’m watching perhaps the finest Vincent Price movie of all time, “The Tingler”.

Okay, maybe I’m stating this tongue in cheek, but I’ve heard so much about this film, but never actually watched it.  What cheezy camp, but lot’s of fun.  Here’s what IMDB says:

The coroner and scientist Dr. Warren Chapin (Vincent Price) is researching the shivering effect of fear with his assistant David Morris (Darryl Hickman). Dr. Warren is introduced to Ollie Higgins (Philip Coolidge), the relative of a criminal sentenced to the electric chair, while making the autopsy of the corpse, and he makes a comment about the tingler-effect to him. Ollie asks for a lift to Dr. Warner, and introduces his deaf-mute wife Martha Higgins (Judith Evelyn), who manages a theater of their own. Dr. Warner returns home, where he lives with his unfaithful and evil wife Isabel Stevens Chapin (Patricia Cutts) and her sweet sister Lucy Stevens (Pamela Lincoln). Dr. Warner, upset with the situation with his wife, threatens and uses her as a subject of his experiment. When Martha dies of fear, Dr. Warner makes her autopsy and finds a creature that lives inside every human being, feeds with fear and is controlled by the scream. Once Martha was not able to scream, the tingler was not rendered harmless and became enormous. When the living being escapes, Dr. Warner and Ollie chase it in a crowded movie theater.

From what I remember from my film school days was the marketing ploy used when this movie came out.  The theater had rigged some of the seats with wires and surplus WWII Army aircraft wing de-icers.  The de-icers vibrated when activated.  The story goes that William Castle, the director, was know for his gimmicks.  He introduces the film, saying…

“I am William Castle, director of the motion picture you are about to see. I feel obligated to warn you that some of the sensations–some of the physical reactions which the actors on the screen will feel will also be experienced, for the first time in motion picture history, by certain members of this audience. I say certain members because some people are more sensitive to these mysterious electronic impulses than others. These unfortunate, sensitive people will at times feel a strange, tingling sensation; other people will feel it less strongly. But don’t be alarmed–you can protect yourself. At any time you are conscious of a tingling sensation, you may obtain immediate relief by screaming. Don’t be embarrassed about opening your mouth and letting rip with all you’ve got, because the person right next to you will probably be screaming too. And remember, a scream at the right time may save your life.”

 For the Tingler, during the climax of the movie in the theater scene…

The tingler escaped into a movie theater. On screen the projected film appeared to break as the silhouette of the tingler moved across the projection beam. The film went black, all lights in the auditorium were turned off and Vincent Price’s voice warned the audience “The Tingler is loose in THIS theater! Scream! Scream for your lives!” This cued the theatre projectionist to activate the buzzers and give several audience members an unexpected jolt.

Ah, the good ole days of quality films!

I’ll Be Islamically Reknowned!

It’s Jihad: the Musical!  Funny stuff…

LMAO - Paris in Jail Vid!

Sorry, this had me in stitches. I just had to share it!

Oh, Poor Paris!!! Back to Jail…

You’ve probably noticed that I’ve never written much in this blog about Celebrity crap, let alone Paris Hilton. But, this particular story has me in stitches.

LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton was sent screaming and crying back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that she must serve out her sentence behind bars rather than in the comfort of her Hollywood Hills home.

I’ve gotten sick of these celebrities flaunting their status, breaking laws, expounding politics and generally behaving like spoiled children. It’s time to put them back in their place. These folks are no different than the rest of us; you break a law, you pay.

“It’s not right!” shouted Hilton, who violated her probation in a reckless driving case. “Mom!” she cried out to her mother.

So, boo-hoo it up, Paris! You got what you deserved after driving drunk, driving on a suspended license and becoming a potential hazard on the California highways.

Suck it up girl and take like an adult.

Here’s the scoop over at TMZ.com.

Rosie Relaxes After Leaving the View

Thanks to Planck’s Constant.  Now that Rosie has quit The View, she’s decided to relax a bit.

Stuck in Atlanta

Haven’t watched Cable News in two weeks, this morning (being stuck in Atlanta Hartsfield at an ungodly hour), I had to suffer CNN and found out the earth had shifted on its axis, or something just as alarming; Kiran Chetry, my fave FoxNews caster had bounced over to anchor this lifeless morning show.  Even worse, the article listed below says she jumped ship in February.  Where the hell was I?

Not sure what to make of this, is CNN attempting to improve its waning position, or is Kiran’s career in a downhill slide?

Regardless of the answer, I’ll miss that spark of loveliness on Fox. 

Kiran Chetry anchors American Morning with John Roberts. Based in New York, Chetry began anchoring CNN’s flagship morning program in April 2007.

Chetry joined CNN in February 2007 and immediately began anchoring various CNN programs including American Morning, Anderson Cooper 360º, Paula Zahn Now and CNN Newsroom. Previously, Chetry was the anchor of Fox & Friends First and Fox & Friends Weekend for the Fox News Channel. She has covered major breaking news stories including reports from the field during the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the Columbia Space Shuttle disaster, the invasion of Baghdad and Hurricane Katrina.

Chetry began her journalism career at News 21 in Rockville, Md., in 1995 before moving to WICU-TV in Erie, Penn., to become an anchor and health reporter. At WICU-TV, she earned the Best Enterprise Reporting award from the Pennsylvania Associated Press Broadcasters Association in 1997 for “Young and Hooked,” a series about teen smoking. She then served as a morning anchor and reporter for KXTV in Sacramento, Calif., before joining Fox News in 2001.

Chetry received her bachelor of arts in broadcast journalism from the University of Maryland.

Can someone just deport Michael Moore already?

Fahrenheit 9/11 spin-meister Michael Moore has shown his ass again.  Seems the meretricious film maker is carting off first responders to the September 11th WTC disaster to Cuba to partake of their socialized health care - in an effort to prove that our own system is somehow worse.

J. Fisher from NY Post April 15, 2007 — Filmmaker Michael Moore’s production company took ailing Ground Zero responders to Cuba in a stunt aimed at showing that the U.S. health-care system is inferior to Fidel Castro’s socialized medicine, according to several sources with knowledge of the trip.

The trip was to be filmed as part of the controversial director’s latest documentary, “Sicko,” an attack on American drug companies and HMOs that Moore hopes to debut at the Cannes Film Festival next month.

But, you have to consider, both Fidel (no Stroh’s allowed) and the doctors at that facility would undoubtedly put on their Sunday best to treat these poor souls.  As the article details, it seems that our patients are “utterly” happy and “utterly” fooled into thinking that any type of socialized medicine program would ever provide personal, friendly and courteous service.

Remember the recent scandal at Walter Reed?  Well, guys, military medical is pretty much socialized medical.  Take it from me, I’ve been using military and VA medical for the past 18 years.

I’m sure they were treated as celebrities as a means to make our own nation’s medical facilities look bad.  It was all a horrible media stunt, typical of Moore and anyone else coming out of the Hollyweird enclave.

“From what I heard through the grapevine, those people that went are utterly happy,” said John Feal, who runs the Fealgood Foundation to help raise money for responders and was approached by Moore to find responders willing to take the trip.

“They got the Elvis treatment.”

Well, duh!  By the way, the name Fealgood is just too ironic, in more ways than one!  We have got to do something about odd and ugly fat men with cameras and those odd, but “beautiful” people in front of them.  America needs to send a message to them, “Okay, entertain us, but don’t try to do our thinking for us!”  I mean really, do we think that anyone who makes a living pretending to be someone else should be taken seriously?

Team America Revisited

It’s raunchy, racist, sexist, bigoted and inflammatory, but perhaps one of the slickest evaluations of politics, actors and current events today.  I have an unfortunate affinity to it, despite the coarseness of its presentation.  In fact, I can’t help but chuckle every time I think of it.

Okay, Team America came out three years ago, but is it still relevant?  I dunno, let’s compare the sequence where Hans Blix is berating Kim Jong-Il, telling the North Korean sociopath;

Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We’ve been frew this a dozen times. I don’t have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN’s collective mind. I’m sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you… and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.

Seems the Film Actors Guild has come out enforce again, with the noble expert on diplomatic and military matters Sean Penn giving these classic quotes:

  “You [President Bush]… and the smarmy pundits you have in your pocket can take your war and shove it! Let’s unite not only in stopping this war, but in holding this administration accountable.”

“The money that’s spent on this war would be better spent on building levees in New Orleans and health-care in Africa. Iraq is not our toilet. It’s a country of human beings whose lives that were once oppressed by Saddam are now in Dante’s Inferno.”

The previous quote was recent, but the next (from TmAm) shows his real perceptions,

“Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles. “

Gotta love those actors!  And give a lot of credit to the Film Actor’s Guild…